An Untimely Argument
by Final Hikari
Summary: This is a parody of the scene before the first time you fight Telos in Episode III. T-elos' personality and choice of dress has always been suspect, but was it every brought to light...? Oneshot, no pairings.


Final Hikari: enters maintence lab and pressed button on computer for KOS-MOS' and T-elos' maintence beds to open Wakie wakie, eggs and bakie!

KOS-MOS & T-elos: roll over in maintence bed and curl up with hands under heads

Final Hikari: -- Well, I may not own you two or any other Xenosaga characters, places, or things, but I am still the author here and it is time to compose a fan fiction!

KOS-MOS & T-elos: Zzzzzz..

Final Hikari: little red plus-like getting-irritated anime mark appears on head If you don't want to get up I'll send you back to Monolith and you can bother go get killed off in Episode 3...

KOS-MOS: snaps to attention and sits up Okay, it's fan fic time!

T-elos: does the same Let's get it going!

Final Hikari: -- KOS-MOS, get the cold monotone going. This is going to take place in Episode 3 before you're human-y.

KOS-MOS: Ahem...affirmative.

T-elos: sticks tongue at at KOS-MOS Nyah, nyah! I get to act normal all thetime.(h)

Final Hikari: Jeez, just get into your right costumes for the timeline already! Anyway, Final Hikari presents...

An Untimely Argument

"It is destined for KOS-MOS to be destroyed in this place." Roth Mantel said, transforming into the Red Testament.

"T-testament?" Shion gasped.

"Exactly!" T-elos said enthusiastically, "Besides, I look and dress _way_ better than you, KOS-MOS!"

"…Huh?" Shion mumbled, the rest of the party having similar reactions.

"That information would be decided by the eye of the beholder." I replied.

"Humph! If the eye of the beholder is Rothy over here, or any other person with half a brain, I am obviously more beautiful!"

"…Are you imploring I have half a brain?" The Red Testament asked, sounding disturbed.

"That's besides the point." T-elos said dismissively.

"T-elos," The Red Testament continued, "You and KOS-MOS follow the same over-all design and are based off the same model…"

"But I am obviously more beautiful!" T-elos said, striking a suggestive pose, only making her look like a slut fresh from the red light district instead of a slut with weaponry that surpassed mine.

"Let us fight, T-elos." I called.

"I'm not done gloating!" She snapped with a childish scowl as she pointed at me. "Besides, none of your costumes are as sexy as mine, either!"

"So that's what you call it…" I heard Rubedo mutter.

"Jr.!" MOMO snapped. "Don't provoke her, we heard about the power she has!"

"So…?" Rubedo asked, raising one eyebrow unconcerned.

"So don't talk dirty about her!" MOMO scolded.

"You don't have a phase transfer cannon in your chest." T-elos taunted. "Besides, you look more than half dead with that skin tone! While I, on the other hand, have a beautifully tanned body, even in places you don't see."

"I can tell there are very few of those." I said.

"Grrr…don't you ever get angry, KOS-MOS?! I'm _provoking _you! I'm _taunting_ you! Hell, I'm _insulting _you! And all you do is ramble off observations like a…like a…like a machine!"

"I am a machine, T-elos. So are you. Your artificial personality seems to be malfunctioning or tuned to act as a rude human."

"Sound a little angry, or something!" T-elos whined. "You're weird! Rothy, do I really have to become one with her to insure my existence?"

"How would I know? I though I had half a brain." Roth Mantel, the Red Testament said, crossing his arms.

"Rothy…" T-elos whimpered.

"T-elos," The Red Testament said, a his tone sounding kind before turning angry, "Just go kick KOS-MOS' ass already and do what you're paid to do!"

"But I'm not paid to fight! Even if I were, I'd probably make more money if I had a Realian body and put it to use in the red light district! But I can't with this awful mechanical body! And KOS-MOS covers more of her ass than me, it's also covered by her hair so selective kicking would be tricky."

"That is isn't revelent, just fight!" The Red Testament argued.

"She's talking dirty about herself." Rubedo said dryly.

MOMO sighed in defeat saying, "Still."

"How long do you think they're going to go at it…?" Rubedo mused.

"The world may never know." chaos replied.

"Just how many licks _does_ it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop, anyway?" MOMO chimed in.

"That information is not in my database." I replied.


End file.
